Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The new place.

Well, I'm all moved in. Cable hooked up, phone, internet. The ensuite bath has been tested and it is as relaxing as I expected. Last night the soak included a bottle of Australian Shiraz. Hey, I didn't have to work today so I figured I might as well have a bottle to celebrate the move.

I'm still missing my security & ID badges for work. Guess I'll have to survive without those for now. And I had to call and get a new credit card sent out since I'm not sure exactly where mine went to. I'm fairly certain it's around here somewhere, but if not, I'd rather not have to worry about it.

And now...now. I'm surprised by how scary it really was moving into my own place. How much it hurt to move out of the old place. Something I never thought I'd be doing. That's probably a large part of it. Plain old disbelief.

The sad part is that recently my friendship with my ex has been falling apart more and more. I'm not proud of that or how I've treated him lately. His moving on is one of the harder things for me to handle. That little safety blanket of him always being there is gone and I frankly feel like someone pulled the rug out from under my feet. Guess I know how he felt 7 months ago when I said I wanted the separation.

My cats seem to be settling in to the new place. Bailey has stopped meaowing all night. Either that or the wine just helped me sleep through it. And Tigger, well...he's not stuck to me in bed at night anymore. I guess Dad was right. They'd adjust just fine as long as I was around. Tigger is a little more clingy now though. When I sit down for a minute he jumps up and makes himself comfy on me.

It's back to work for me tomorrow. And back to the project from hell. Not really looking forward to that. I did learn on Monday that the one thing I need to do is WAY easier than I expected. I'd hoped, but figured I was better off not holding my breath on that one. Change one property and The existing code can work for me. BUT it still has to work the old way too, so I get to build a second set of forms to provide the new functionality. Basically it's the difference between users picking one item from a list or multiple, but there's a servlet in the way that looks up to an address book somewhere - which doesn't have to happen and actually causes an error if multiple names are selected. So I've gotta mess with that tomorrow. Once I get that working, there's one more form I need to build and I should be ready by Friday for this code to go into testing. Then I'm done. DONE with the PM from someplace very very warm.

Tonight I'm going to head out to pick up a new mop, some light bulbs and other fun stuff like that. Oooooh, a broom would be good too.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Permanently scarred

Or at least some of my belongings are. Like this move wasn't memorable enough for all the wrong reasons, we now get to add the loss and or damage of 3 pieces of furniture.

Moving day dawned bright and sunny. I had the last minute addition of Dad to the moving team so I took him and the cats up to the new place. The cats got to stay to be out of the way when moving out of the old house. Dad got the grand tour and then we went for breakfast before the move.

Friday night, I had a last minute call from a good friend. Unfortunately her boyfriend was ill and if he didn't come with her she didn't have much of a place to stay, and the a box didn't sound that appealing to her. So I was down to four movers. Still not a big deal, I thought.

So, after breakfast saturday morning, Dad headed off to wash his truck before we started moving. My ex showed up and he and I discussed taking the china cabinet apart for the move. He felt it was unnecessary (you probably see where this is going). So, into Dad's truck went the china cabinet. Apparently the two of them had the same discussion and decided against taking the time to take it apart. My desk and dresser were put behind the china cabinet and dad's truck was full. Onto the quad trailer went the two beds, on top of which went the table, upside down to prevent scratches, that was all strapped down and more furniture and boxes added. My two night tables found their way into the back of an SUV and my car stayed at the old place while we went to the new place.

We didn't even make the yellowhead before the wind took care of separating the china cabinet. The desk valiantly took the hit, saving my dresser from flying wood and glass. Well, mostly. There are a couple marks, but if you don't know, you'd never notice it. So, we picked up the pieces, left them on the side of the road for when we returned and headed out again.

Somehow we managed to make it uneventfully down the yellowhead and way, way, way north. This is when the final damage happened. My ex was backing the trailer up into the garage and he couldn't see the table real well. Dad tried to stop him, but it was too late - the table legs didn't fit in the garage. So, my table now has 2 legs. The other two ripped out in a horrible tragedy. Ok, so that's fixable. So I will have a table eventually.

Honestly, the pieces of furniture I lost weren't huge losses. The china cabinet was nice, and handy to have, but it was an old one my parents gave me when they didn't use it anymore. It certainly wasn't expensive or unique in any way. The desk was due for replacement anyway. In fact, the replacement is scheduled, I'm just working on delivery. Need at truck to get to hinton to pick it up. Oh, and once I'm back, some help moving it from the truck to the house would be good too.

The table, I only had because neither of us wanted it and I figured it saved me having to buy one right away. It'll do it's job - keeping my from hitting my head on the dining room light as I walk through.

Worse things could've happened - an accident, someone getting hurt, stuff like that. And I'm very relieved that nothing did. So, I'm all moved in with just the odd scratch, dent and shattered glass door :) Next up - internet, cable and phone service. Woo Hoo.

Friday, May 27, 2005

We regret to inform you...

That your regularly scheduled rants will be interrupted for a few days. I'm not the most organized girl in the world at times and I left my cable until the last to get moved over. The earliest they can get there is Tuesday so I'll be without internet until then.

So, for the few people who actually find entertainment in my ramblings I'll be back, eventually.

I don't have green eyes...I swear

So, my ex.

He's been spending a lot of time with a married woman. They spent a night together in Houston. Why do you need to know this? Well.... you probably don't. There are things I wish I didn't know.

But I do. I know she left her husband this week. I know my ex was going to go out with her tonight, until she had to cancel. And I find myself angry. He's been very vocal about me starting dating 3 months after he and I separated. Yet he has no problems with her spending the night with him while she still lived with her husband.

My question is, why am I jealous? I wanted him to move on. To be happy. But I'm starting to see that for right now, my friendship with him has to end. It's just making it harder on both of us to move on. And I don't need to know about his private life anymore. My friend called me a "glutton for punishment." She's right. I was just a little too stubborn to listen. Go figure.

But I'm learning. Slowly but surely. I'm learning that I kinda like my own company. In a short 4-8 weeks, I'll have furniture in the new place... Ok, closer to 2-6 weeks now. And I'll be able to stretch out on my sofa and cross stitch in front of the fire. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the idea of me going to Europe by myself next fall. Even looking at taking some Italian language courses. Ok, I'm past comfortable - I'm excited. Same with my trip to Halifax this December. Excited.

The first time I went out to eat by myself was hard, but sushi just isn't the same at home by myself. So I plunked myself at a table and ate...slowly because chopsticks are a tad difficult to manouver when one is shaking. But each subsequent time has been easier and easier. Such a small thing, huh? Just not something I've had to do much.

So, this whole thing has shown me how strong I really am. It's kinda teaching me patience even. Earlier I tried to rush things a couple times. I ended up hurt. I still hurt over the one incident because I'm still not sure what happened. Never really been good with confusion. Just like answers. And honest ones. I guess part of the hurt I feel is that someone I put my trust in may have been dishonest with me. And I was stupid enough to fall for it. That still bugs me.

And I'm frustrated. Which brings us back to impatience. The fact that I'm separated has been a problem for more than one guy I've dated. The one coulda mentioned that little fact a little earlier than he did. Might've saved me a lot of hurt. But maybe he tried to give me the benefit of the doubt. In his defence, I wasn't ready to start something at that point anyway. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to move on, put my marriage in the past and forget about the whole feeling of failure thing.

Because I did fail. And for me that was hard to accept. When I moved to Calgary to go to school, Dad thought he'd be going back to Calgary to move me back. He underestimated my will to succeed. And my fear of their disapproval. Not only did I finish school (with honors!), I stayed in Calgary when I was done. I survived the breakup with my high school sweetheart and probably made a few mistakes after that, but I was determined I wouldn't fail. And I didn't. Until now. Or 7 months ago. Pretty big thing to fail at.

So that's where I'm at now. Trying to accept my failure. Trying to accept that the one thing I always took to be the truth - a marriage will succeed if you're willing to work at it - is only true if both parties feel that way.

Ok, I've been serious enough for tonight. I've gotta run some stuff to the new place and get back here before Dad gets here. That's my family. He's almost done seeding. My brother will finish this weekend and Dad's coming to help. A good thing considering I'm not the only sick one. My friend's boyfriend is on antibiotic shots and can't make it to help move, which means she has no place to stay in the city so I lose two movers. Plus my strep throat makes me a little less productive. But I've moved enough through the week that we should be ok tomorrow. Mostly just furniture left, I've moved a lot of the boxes and things that fit in my car.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

note to self...

In my search to find things to do this summer, I found the following interesting sites. Ok, interesting to me. Not necessarily to y'all.

Edmonton Whitewater Paddlers
Northwest Voyageurs
Tonquin Valley Trailrides
Yoga Retreats at The Edge
Banff Hiking maps
Jasper Trail Maps

I was very disappointed to find that Yoga in the Rockies is actually taking a year off. About four years ago I did a trip through her and it was great.

OK, that's probably lots for now. I just need to weed through them and figure out where I want to go and when.

Moving pains

I am never...ever...ever moving into a two storey place again. I had all my boxes stored in the basement at the old place so last night I made a bunch of trips to get them into my car. Got the cats in the car and off we went to the new place.

I know, I know. I'm a little weird taking the cats over, but I have a reason for this. I want them to start getting used to the place - when we're not stepping over them to move furniture. Then I take them home and it's not an abrupt change to them. Yes, I'm a suck.

Anyway, I get the critters over to the new place set them loose and move boxes in. Here's the kicker - my garage opens into the basement. So from there I had to again carry all of my boxes upstairs. I have no idea how many trips up and down stairs I made last night. I do know today my arms are killing me, as is my back after I moved all that and then unpacked 13 boxes of stuff in the kitchen.

The good news, the cats seem to approve of the new place - big windows for them to look out of. Tigger spent most of his time in the kitchen window. Bailey was just snooping around.

Tonight I'm going shopping, need a tv stand and some other stuff. Not a whole lot of stuff because apparently I took everything from inside the house whether I needed it or not. So now I have boxes of stuff that go to my ex. That's what I get for randomly packing and not paying attention.

But it appears I'm going to need to investigate stuff for camping again. I get the tent. How's that for a division of property - I get the tent, he gets the 5th wheel. The way I figure it, overall it works out in the end. But I currently have two camping trips planned for this summer. I need to get a foam or something for the tent though....oh and a sleeping bag would be good. Heh, suddenly I'm not so tired and stiff from moving :-D

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I really should proofread this stuff

Reread my post from the other day and... well :) I didn't make much sense in a few places. Like when I talked about the old pond across the road. How does that have anything to do with water and/or changes. Allow me to finish that little thought.

When I went home, there was water in the pond. Not just a little...a lot. Like there used to be. I could see it from the house. Not only that but "the flat" had water in it too. I remember a time when we used to try to figure out if the flat would dry out during the summer. Then we wondered if it would have water in the spring.... then there wasn't a question at all. It was just dry. This year, there's water in it again.

After so many drought years, that amount of water hanging around this time of may gives a farm girl some hope. Now let's see if they can get through harvest without a frost.

So, I've gone and bought myself a house. Got the keys to it tonight and moved the first load of stuff in. Going to fill the car again tomorrow night and head over to do some unpacking. Same thing thursday night and friday nights. Friday night I'm even going to throw together a lasagne ( if everything goes as planned ) otherwise I'll be ordering pizza for my friends.

Which reminds me. This whole divorce thing sucks. Friends pick sides even though they really don't have to. I'm down to 3 movers plus my ex. Hell, my ex is coming to help. Yet people I consider friends have found better things to do. My family I have to excuse - they're all going to be busy working in the fields thanks to the recent rains that interrupted seeding. Wish they could make it, but it's better if they finish up seeding. It's some of the other people I'm a little disappointed in. But what can you do?

The internet, what a wonderful thing...

I can make pictures of my nephew readily available. Click of the mouse you can see lots of pictures of him

Edited: Fixed the link...

Monday, May 23, 2005

The girl I used to be

First off...when I travel, I really need to remember to take notepaper. A weekend at "home" what a perfect time to reflect and get some stuff on paper. I know, I know. I'm a geekess, Shouldn't I be more inclined to just put fingers on keys rather than pen to paper.

Two words... Dial up.

High speed internet hasn't quite hit rural saskatchewan yet. Dad has considered satellite, since cable just isn't available to them out there, but the cost is prohibitive so far. This means I spent the weekend with a smoking fast computer & dial-up. Somwhat like taking a ferrari on Saskatchewan grid roads.

Before I get on with the main event, I've gotta tell you about the most important part of my weekend. Cameron Ross. The sweetest little blue-eyed guy in my family. Although he doesn't have a lot of competition, my brother's the only other blue-eyed guy.

So auntie Erin finally caved Saturday morning and held the little guy. (Hey, I was finally healthy enough to!) He didn't freak out at all! And when I asked him if he was going to be a giggler like Auntie Erin, he just giggled. Works for me. Fine, I know he's only 4.5 months old. Maybe he's got intelligence along with beauty.

He's been baptized. I was there to witness it. I even managed to sit through Catholic Mass without a single bolt of lightning. Ok, perhaps the concern over whether I was wearing appropriate underwear for the occasion had Him laughing too hard to punish me. I do have to say that the new priest in town is great. Much better than the old one. Hopefully they manage to keep this guy for awhile.

The rest of my weekend can be summed up in one word - Changes.

Not even sure where to start on this. I noticed Mom had finally taken down my brother and my grad pictures. She's replacing them with the grandson. The hard part is adjusting to the fact that over the next few years my "home" will cease to exist as my brother and his family move out to the farm and take over. Change is good and it would be great for them to be out there instead of in town. At the same time, it's my home. I feel like someone should've asked me if it was ok. Yeah, sure. What would my answer have been? Of course! Besides, I have no interest in the place anymore. I think in the will I get the china or something. Go figure. Like I really need a farm though.

I went for a walk sunday afternoon. After the rain on Saturday, everything was so green. It was great to see. I wandered north west of the yard to the old dugout. It's now pretty much pushed in and filled up with stuff.

Of course, the hedge where my cocky teenaged ass was tossed from the back of a 20 year old mare is still there. The barn still sits in the yard, but i t no longer is used for horses. Just machinery storage and greenhouse supplies. Oh, and a good hunting ground for the two cats.

I looked at the hayloft and remembered the fearless girl I was. Running up and down those straw covered stairs after cats, kittens and dogs. We used to play in the bales. Endless games of hide and seek. Then we'd climb down the side of the barn using a rope. I'd catch frogs, catepillars and snakes; climb trees and help my brother build tree houses. Yup, houses. We had two. I'm not sure how helpful I really was back then.

My friend Tracy and I used to pick flowers and have pretend weddings in the front yard. Her favorite flower was marigolds. She'd go home stuffed up every time because she was allergic to the stupid things.

I used to walk miles and miles with Lady, my old dog. I used to have a huge crush on a guy who worked at a local farm. So when he was hauling grain for them, I'd be out walking. Hoping he'd stop and talk to me. He usually did.

Mom and dad have a new pup now - Tinkerbelle. Smart little german shepherd cross. Not sure what she's crossed with, but she's just a tiny thing. And her feet aren't very big at all so she won't get much bigger. Oh well. She's a pretty little thing. And I spent the weekend teaching her to sit. Then I started in on the bad stuff - had her stiting on my lap on the chair. She was well behaved. Put her little puppy head on my shoulder and just let me pet her. What a suck. Set her back on the ground and she didnt' jump up again. She doesn't bark at cars in the yard yet. Just the cats, because they won't play with her.

I wanted to take her for a walk, but it just wasn't the same as never being sure what Lady would chase out of the bushes at me.

Another change this year. Water. There's a pond across the road we used to skate on years ago. Then it gradually dried up. It's where my brother first knocked me out. Fine, it's the only time he's ever knocked me out. We used to pull a toboggan behind the snowmobile and he liked to go over on the ice and do donuts. So he did. With me on behind.

Oh...it was great fun. Until the toboggan caught snow or the ice or something and flipped. Next think I knew, my brother was shaking me and begging me not to tell our parents. So with a fat lip and a bruised melon, I agreed. Besides, I always looked up to him. Followed him around and generally annoyed him. I probably would've agreed to almost anything.

When I look at what he's been through and the person he is today, I can't help but continues to look up to him.

We all grow up, times change, and we can't go back.

I never thought it would be hard for me to go home. But it is. Last night, Mom came into the house and caught the end of a phone conversation between me and a Newfie friend who's heading north for the summer for work. I got the third degree about him being a boyfriend. Then they ask about my ex all the time.

First, the Newf...not a boyfriend. He's a friend. A nice guy...even though he backed out of helping me move. Second, my ex...not going to be getting back together with him. So stop asking. Sheesh.

Friday, May 20, 2005

A surprising rant

This morning as I was preparing for my day at work and my trip to the Great Flat Land I had an epiphany.

epiphany: A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization. There you go folks, your word for the day. The word of the day has been brought to you by the letters E and K, and the number 8.

Anyway, back to my sudden realization. There I was, searching for my pager and attaching to myself my security badge and my id tag. My cell phone was on the counter. I unhooked my digital camera from the computer and threw it and it's cable into my suitcase as any pictures of the cutest little guy in the world will have to be downloaded to my brother's computer and my dad's computer.

I don't wear a watch because I'm surrounded by time wherever I go. My cell phone, the phone on my desk, my computer, my car radio... there's a clock tower where my bus stops on the way out of town. If I miss a call, my cell tells me when I missed it AND the number that called. My home phone has call display which I pretty much ignore now anyway. I don't check when I get home to see who called me - well, ok that's more because I know no one has so why be reminded that I have no life?

I have no fewer than...5 email accounts. Yes, 5. I use three different instant messaging tools and for awhile played more cribbage online than I had in real life. With a double click of the mouse, I can be talking to my friend in England, a guy in Wisconsin or the guy in the next cube.

I no longer write my grandmother letters, preferring the instant gratification that comes with an email or an instant message. Unfortunately, Grandma is an 85 year old lady who has no intention of using a computer in this life.

I have a friend who has a blackberry, not to mention the couple dozen users at Corporate that I have to support. Now not only can we be reached anywhere on cell phones, but we can check our email as we drive down the yellowhead at 80km. Need to know the score in the game? Readily available as we surf the web from various hand-held devices.

We can meet people from far and wide without leaving our homes. The finest views are available at the click of a button or a quick google search away. Human interaction is as close as the nearest computer, no shower necessary.

I noticed it last night when my friend came to pick me up for the movie (packed star wars parking lot!). I'd forgotten even the simple social grace of inviting someone into my home as I went to grab my shoes. I came back and was simply surprised he hadn't just opened the screen door and followed me in. We got to the theatre and I turned off my cell phone and chuckled as I watched about half the theatre do the same at various points prior to the movie.

I have three phones (home, cell and work) and three separate voice mail systems to go with my 5 email addresses. And one snail mail address. Which is why I've cancelled the land line at my new place. What's the point? People have enough ways to track me down as it is!

My life has been reduced to a series of numbers and beeps. My goodness, I remember a time when there were party lines. The first computer Dad bought didn't have a hard drive and we had only one phone. If we weren't there to answer it - oh well, they'd call back later. I had keys for the house, keys for the car and keys for my job. Now I have keys for my house, remote keyless entry for my car, and two badges I have to wear to work to identify myself and get access to the building. I do appreciate the wise soul who created remote keyless entry. I haven't locked my keys in my car since that came along.

I don't have to leave my house to buy books, cd's, movies or clothing. Some areas even offer home grocery delivery. Given enough information about a person, and a couple hours of free time I can dig up a lot more information about them. Throw some money at that task and you'd be amazed the information you can dig up. I was talking to a guy online once who claimed to be single. He made the mistake of messaging me with the wrong ID one day. And...well, there are geeks who hack to prove what they can do...I searched to prove what I could do. Hey, I was bored!

Next time we chatted, I gave him his home phone number, home address and wife's name. I alsw listed the last 6 or 8 places he lived. For me at the time it was an exercise in geekiness as well as finding out what is available about people if you take the time to search online. Since then, I've taken a lot more care what information is out there about me. I google my name regularly, and feel relatively confident that my whole life isn't out there for all to see - unless they find this site :) When I worked for AU, my office address, phone number and email was readily available if you just googled my name. I have a friend who googles his name and it comes up with a porn site.

Dropping my home phone will also go a long way to removing myself from the online world. However, you wouldn't find a phone listed in the name on this blog anyway. Not yet. Give me a month or two to get back to being me again.

So, I wonder - is technology too big a part of our lives? Is it more of a distraction and a hinderance to the way we live our lives? Does it foster communication with other human beings? Or simply allow us to hide behind computer screens and wireless technology, pretending to be something or someone we are not. Does easy access to images of the Eiffel tower and Macchu Pichu pique our interest to see far away places? Or just allow us to see the wonders of the world without leaving our safe, quiet homes? Have we sacrificed our privacy in the interest of quick access to information about others?

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okaaaaaaaaaay!

I work all day and I sleep all night.

Ok, so explain to me why 2 hours after a toastmasters meeting with a Royalty theme...I'm humming Monty Python songs? Or whistling them in the case of "Always look on the bright side of life"

Ahhh, just more of the insanity that is me. Oh wait... it's apparently my lunatic side that makes me so much fun. Why do I try to be well spoken and normal when it's the sudden outbursts of giggles that apparently endear me to all who meet me.

Mr. Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters....

Yikes... well, that's my first meeting out of the way. I even had to speak (gasp!).

First we go around the table and introduce ourselves. The Toastmaster had a little question we had to answer as part of our introduction...If you were king or queen for a day what would you do. Well, I was partway through the introductions and by the time we got to me, disease, hunger, poverty and world peace had all been conquered. So...I'd make sure everyone got to learn how to curl. And that's a better answer than go shopping! In hindsight I maybe should've gone with something education related...but oh well.

And I actually had to participate in the meeting. Yup, second table topics speaker. He introduces the quote he wants someone to talk about - one by Napoleon Bonaparte. My thought "wow, I pity the poor person who gets THIS quote." Oh, wait...that's me...I'm Erin. I've since blocked the actual quote I had to speak on.

Well, OK, it wasn't THAT bad. Up I stand, greet the members of the group and start chatting away about how a throne is only a bench covered in velvet. I was doing pretty good until my mind went absolutely blank about 30 seconds in. I still managed to recover and talk for just over a minute. Go Erin!

I agree with Glen, the toastmaster beside me...that's a freakin' long minute! Didn't help that I was sitting across from my teammate Terry who got a grin on his face when I lost my train of thought. He wasn't supposed to enjoy my discomfort quite so much.

And, as a quick little update on my blog and the current look of it. It is going to be going away as I am working on an improved one. I'm just struggling with learning CSS right now and I'm not going to be working on it this weekend. So.... it's gonna have to wait just a little longer. It's something a bit more me though. Ha, there we go, a reason to keep coming back - see what kind of purty web stuff I can do. The writing isn't getting any better.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Holy Mosquitos, Batman!

Went for a hike tonight with a friend and his kids. Was a great night for it, trail was pretty much empty...except for the mosquitos and a frog. The natural area is in great shape. I was glad I threw on my fleece however otherwise I'd be pretty itchy.

I think next time I should head out to the wilderness centre. Never been out there.

How distracting can the river valley view be?

Today - very. I want to be out there - enjoying the sun. Yesterday I really wanted to be out in the rain. That's the farm girl in me.

Everything has turned soooo green. Tonight is going to be a perfect night for a wander through some of the sherwood park parks. :) Geez, I sound like I'm stuttering. I do hope the weather holds for this weekend. Dad's turning 60... the only problem is every year older he gets, I get older too. Hard to give him a hard time about it. Especially since I'm roughly 7 months 3 days from my 30th. But who's counting...right?

Get to see some good friends of the family on Friday night. A woman mom used to teach with back in Manitoba and her husband. Then the rest of the weekend is hard labour in the greenhouse. Not sure what I did to deserve this, but I'm clearly paying for something I've done in a past life. Ah well, this time of the season is more selling stuff and having a blank look on my face when people ask about the difference between a wopper and a beefsteak tomato.... "How about some nice petunias? Marigolds? I can tell you the difference between a cayenne and a red bell pepper...." It's amazing how much I've forgotten in the past 13 years. Ah well, I'm just there for looks anyway.

Well, looks and playing with the new puppy - Tinkerbelle. Leave it to my mom. Hey, let's hope she drops that as a nickname for me now. Because it's been a few years since i've been Tinkerbelle shaped...and I've never been quite that graceful. I think she was closer when she used to call my brother and I "Mutt and Jeff." Uhhhhh. Maybe I should be insulted now.

There we have it folks...the end of the end...

Had my counselling this fine, sunny morning. The good news - I'm normal. Well... as normal as this girl's going to get anyway. As I eat yogurt with a fork. I swear, I forgot to bring a spoon!

Back to me being normal. The mixed up mess of stuff I'm dealing with comes from the sale of the house and me moving into a new place. Part of me wants to hold onto the past, the other part...not so much. Guess which part is the logical, sane, normal, smart part? Yup, the part that's picking paint colors and waiting for her new furniture to show up.

Yay me. And now that I'm done my yogurt, where did I put those pizza pops?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

It's time to write again

Stress, lack of sleep, too much going on. Made me make a fool of myself last night. Again.

I think my cats must've been chasing one another and the sound of them running up and down the stairs woke me up, in my semi-awake state, I coulda swore someone was in the house. So up I get, grabbing the sheet off the bed to cover myself apparently and also grabbing the phone. At some point I clearly called 911 because I remember getting to explain to the operator I thought I had someone in the house but it must've been the cats.

I still got to talk to an RCMP dispatcher, just in case. So, I got to explain myself a second time. I went back to bed and all my blankets were on the floor - probably happened when I dragged the sheet off the bed earlier. Of course this is when I realized I was wearing a sheet. I managed to get the bed put back together and turned off the light. I barely remember getting back into bed, much less falling asleep. Sheesh, there was a time when I'd just wake up the ex when I woke up after a weird dream. Not anymore. Now 911 gets a phone call. Sheesh.

Next week I move. This week I got to finalize my bridge financing, and I'm STILL waiting for my insurance. Nice that she's prompt with the paperwork. My ex is driving me nuts, and work....well... I haven't been getting a whole lot done so that's not helping the old stress levels.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Now I've done it...

I went and actually added links to this page. Yup...more stuff about me. Woo hoo. I will mention that in the photo gallery for the place I grew up...my Dad is actually in one of the pictures, I spent a lot of hours in that curling club, and I do know the guy on the Zamboni.

And in my photo album you'll find stuff that interests me, including trips I've taken...well, recent trips anyway.

Perhaps I'm wrong about me

Your Deadly Sins
Lust: 40%
Sloth: 40%
Pride: 20%
Envy: 0%
Gluttony: 0%
Greed: 0%
Wrath: 0%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
You'll die from overexertion. *wink*

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A geeky way to invite people somewhere

ok, so it's a little geeky, but looks like fun to me... Evite

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Ode to the nice girls

And YES this includes me... Sheesh...

This is a tribute to the nice girls. These are the girls who are safe. The girls whom guys who have girlfriends are allowed to hang out with because they’re not viewed as a threat. These are the girls who dress respectably . . . they don’t go and get “skank clothes” and parade themselves around, catching the attention of every drooling, testosterone-filled boy on earth. These are the girls who are okay with going to chick-fil-a on a date, hanging out, watching a movie, playing a game, or doing some other low-cost, high-fun form of entertainment. Because after all, it’s really about the quality time that they spend with the guy and not the amount of money that is flowing from his pockets in order to please her every whim and desire (or so he thinks) during the date.

This is in honor of the girls who take the time to ask their guy friends “how’s life?” and to listen carefully when the answer is given. The girls who go out of their way to make cookies or cheer up male friends in distress. Yeah, we know “men are from Mars” and “women are from Venus,” but a simple “thank you” is pretty darn universal.

This goes out to the girls who must sit complacently while their guy friends discuss the “hotness” of the girl at the next table over. They watch as these guys date or lust over each and every self-centered, trashy, insecure, flirtatious, and flighty girl they come into contact with.

When asked, most guys say they would like to date a nice girl. However, when faced with such an opportunity, they claim that “I love her . . .like a little sister” or “there are no such things as nice girls. They’re all evil.” These guys continue to complain about how all girls are “manipulative” and “gossipy” and wonder why in the world they all go to the bathroom at the same time.

But, we must confess, there are guys out there who realize the value of their nice friends who are girls. These are the guys who should be praised for their willingness to go with the flow, hang out, and chill. These guys, however, fail to consider these nice girls as anything more than friends or to step up to the plate and consider them for a Saturday night date or the upcoming dance even though they possess all the qualities that guys claim they are looking for. But, a note to the nice girls. Eventually all guys will (or at least should) realize that they don’t want to have a relationship with a girl who wants all of their money and who will only date them until a guy who is better or more enhancing for her social status comes along. So, until those guys realize what is right in front of them, a word of encouragement to the nice girls. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of being treated like a doormat. In all honesty, you are valuable. Clearly, you possess qualities that cause your guy friends to want to hang out with you. The world needs your encouragement, your willingness to take part in spontaneous activities, your ability to continue to enjoy life even though you watch as countless nasty, malicious female sirens blind the nice guys with their alluring ways. For all of the random, frustrating, and seemingly non-sensical things you tolerate, don’t lose hope. Nice guys do exist and will someday realize that nice girls, who are not evil, exist as well.

Fear not, your day will come. And perhaps your prince will too.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

And I'm in need of a good laugh...and a good drink. I found another fun little website to kill some time and allow you to insult those around you without them understanding a word you say. Sometimes rather easy when you doubt those around you really understand the english language...

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem. (In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.)

Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? (How do you get your hair to do that?)

Aspice, officio fungeris sine spe honoris amplioris. (Face it, you're stuck in a dead end job.)

Then there's the things you always wished you could say...in another language.

Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima? (Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?)

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europe vincendarum. (Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.)

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur. (Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.)

Re vera, potas bene. (Say, you sure are drinking a lot.)

Huc accedit Zambonis (Here comes the Zamboni)

And...should you feel the need to speak Latin in your next blog entry/wine update...

"Vinum bellum iucunumque est, sed animo corporeque caret." (It's a nice little wine, but it lacks character and depth.)

All the above translations courtesy of...this site

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Woo Hoo...Hope!

I had a chat with my coworker today. Maybe he figured I'd be disgusted by the code I found in the app I'm working on. Maybe he's heard my screams of frustration - I swear it was my inside voice!!! Today he told me that he didn't like a lot of the way the code in that db is written and we talked about moving stuff to script libraries.

I have hope that the other senior guy on the team deserves the title. That i'm not going to spend my time rewriting badly written code. Much better.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Starwars Geeks Unite!

for all of those needing a giggle...a fun little movie clip.

The project from he...errrr...BC

I swear BC Smurf had to be involved in the writing of the app I'm currently trying to fix/enhance/rewrite from scratch. The last option being my current preference. Someone had to be smoking something to a) write this code b) allow it to pass testing and c) put it into production.

A form that is only available in the notes client includes javascript for the web, as well as an HTML header that is unnecessary. Copy and paste perhaps? I'm fairly certain that there is a javascript function that NEVER sees the light of day as it actually has a typo in it, but I'm trying to confirm this. It's in a script library with the comment "called on open of document in edit mode." Hmmm which document? Which form? Web? Notes client? QueryOpen? QueryModeChange? Perhaps on a subform?

Ah yes, there it is, on a subform...commented out. Perhaps the original developer couldn't get that little chunk of code to work properly so they commented it out. Or perhaps the requirement changed and the code is no longer required. We'll never know as said developer did not find it necessary to tell future geeks like me why that code has been commented out. Do I fix the typo...?

But wait! What's this...two subroutines in the library with the same name? Perhaps that "typo" is intentional. All right, raise your hand if you now understand the value of MEANINGFUL function/subroutine/variable names...

Raise your hand if you're from BC and would do this intentionally to confuse a poor, hardworking geek from saskatchewan.

Speaking of previous developers (apparently there have also been summer students involved)...Said previous developers determined that the tab order could not be set on the web because of the way the forms are created. My guess is they were referring to the use of subforms. Which is all well and good, but this put me in an awkward position when I piped up in a meeting with my PM and the client and indicated the tab order could be fixed and I was very tempted to do so. My PM told me it was impossible - something I heard a couple times in that meeting. So, back to my desk I came and voila - tab order is now set.

As to the other "impossible" tasks...not so much. They are time consuming to write, however and will not be included in this phase of the project. Now if only I could get the PM to not declare things possible that later turn out to be not so easily accomplished we'd be getting somewhere. I don't mind performing "miracles" to surprise a client. However, I do hate having functionality promised that can't be delivered in the timelines.

Where did I put that bubblewrap?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

That special cause

Most of us have a cause that we believe in and support without thought. Well, the normal, caring, humane folks among us anyway. For me, it's critters. And I count myself very lucky that I now work for a company that believes wholeheartedly in community involvement. Our EH&S policies promote things like donating blood and first aid training. When the tsunami hit, the company agreed to match employee donations to the Red Cross. It's involved in the United Way (no matter what your opinion is of the organization).

And they have an amazing program in place to encourage employees to volunteer for their favorite causes. If I volunteer 60 hours with any organizations throughout the year, my company will donate $200 to a charity of my choice.

The charity of my choice is easily NASAP. I've fostered animals for them and regularly volunteer for adoptions days as well as acting as a member of the Homeless Animals Day committee last year.

Speaking of fosters... Bud was my last foster dog. And yes, that's exactly where you'd find him at any given time - right beside me. I cried when he was adopted and I only had him for 5 days. Yes...I'm a suck. Who could fault me - when my ex came home from Houston, Bud didn't want to let him in the house. Same thing the next day when he came home from work. I had a guard dog.

And finally, as one last little piece of evidence supporting my insanity...take a look at Catman Cat Furniture and just try to guess which piece of furniture I'll be adding to the new place for my own two critters.

Having a bad day?

While looking into estimates for movers...yes, I'm caving. I've realized many of my friends won't be available to help with the move so I'm considering hiring movers for the thursday before my originally planned move date. Then on "moving day" the friends who are available and willing to help get some of my nummy lasangne. Well, that and some boxes to unpack and a pillow to sit on on the floor...should they be able to find the box with the pillows in it...

Anywho...While investigating movers, I came across this fun little piece of stress relief. Who doesn't love a good sheet of bubble wrap?

Monday, May 02, 2005

A chuckle for the day


A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my sisters though."

If only I had sisters ;)