Irresponsible? Check
So, I totally want to be irresponsible and outrageous.
I want to move, not necessarily with J. I want to wait tables in some pub and make friends with the regulars. I want...
I want to stop being a responsible adult.
Speaking of weird
I went to my old hotmail account today. It was a treasure trove of the past. Truly. Keep in mind, all of the emails I'm about to post about happened since late December.
1. Several posts from some guy I met a few years ago on a dating site. Most were prayers. This is particularly odd since I vaguely remember him either sending me peen pictures or having a "roommate" who turned out to be a girlfriend or FI.
2. An invitation to Reunion.com from a musician I met in Nova Scotia. Keep in mind, I have had no contact with this man since then. About 3 years ago. Out of curiosity, I checked out his website. He's released a CD. It's pretty good. But still, wtf?
3. Random blog comments requesting moderation. Some are completely bizarre. Most are totally random.
It was kind of nice to revisit some of those memories. Some of the stuff I found was interesting to say the least. Who knew?
This should sound sufficiently weird
J and I are going to Niagara Falls for a wedding this summer (don't worry, that isn't the weird part). I've heard of a pretty great photographer in Toronto through a message board. Looking at her photos, I'd agree, she's fantastic.
I'm actually considering contacting this woman and getting her to do some engagement shots for us while we're out there (yep, that's the weird part).
I'm also looking at spending about $5K on a photographer for the actual wedding.
At what point did I lose my mind?
Can't.
It's a simple word. Can't. A contraction of can and not. Cannot.
How negative is this word? How many times do we use it every day? It's probably one of the most overused words in our lives. Can't.
I can't relax.
I can't manage my time.
I can't get organized.
I can't do what I love because (insert excuse here).
I can't get together for drinks.
I can't
I can't
I can't.
For me, it's particularly destructive - I can't lose weight. Really? Because I can. I have the ability - even if my mind seems resistant. I can't draw. Well, I've never really tried. My preliminary efforts seem to be...horrible, but I've never had instruction. I've never practiced. I've never taken an interest because it seemed a talent I lacked.
But what is talent? I sucked at curling when I started. Bad form, bad calls, bad shots. But I practiced. I worked at it and became better. I put effort into it.
For a long time, I've believed that a natural talent means you'll be good at something. Sure, it helps - look at programming. I've always had a mind for it and often have caught myself thinking in if-then-else statements. But in reality, it bores me. It holds no interest, no challenge.
Yet daily, I fill my head with the word "Can't." IN reality, there are things that are physically impossible for me - I can't fly. I can't lick my elbow (why would I want to? I dunno).
But everything else should just be a possibility. Something to be learned and practiced if interesting, not dismissed out of hand because I don't have natural talent.
Can't. We need to stop saying that word.
Art!
So, in my ongoing career contemplation, I've done some investigation. This investigation included some personality profiling and seriously looking at the results from such. In my original profile, I am an INTP. Strong emphasis on the N (intuition) and the P (Perceiving).
OK, fine. So what on earth does that mean???
It means that I should be interested in careers in:
social science, psychology, art and theatre work, entertainment, counseling writing, acting and photography. (Intuition)
or
writing, restaurant work, social science, manual labor, art, entertainment and acting.
Ok then. Let's look at the commonalities there. Social science is out. Sorry folks, I'm just not the "save the world" type. Entertainment - what exactly is entertainment if it isn't acting, art or theatre work? Acting...heh. I've considered this. I don't have the face or body for such a career choice.
This leaves me with art and writing.
Soooo, I went a little further in the self assessment tools and looked at my interests. Yeah - quilting, travel and baking. It offered the ability to select a generic career and get a list of interests related to said career. I chose art. Let's just say that my interests are heavily related to art.
What ARE the options in art? Well, let's take a loose definition and include design. Landscape design (maybe I wasn't so crazy when I was younger) is one option. Looking at some options that are a little crazier, I came up with blacksmith. While it'd be cool to do the artistic side of that - sculptures - I think I would loses my mind making wrought iron railing after wrought iron railing. And I think the job opportunities as a blacksmith would be limited in Edmonton. Most people prefer walking into Home Depot and ordering something from a factory rather than getting a custom designed and smithed piece. So that won't really work.
Art. What a surprise. I've always considered myself fairly bland and un-artistic. Which brings me to another thought I've had today.
