Monday, November 17, 2008

Well, hello there Winter.

I'd like to say it's nice to see you, but we both know I'd be lying. It's odd since there was once a time when I loved the long cold nights and any excuse to cuddle up by the fire was good enough for me. But now I don't feel the same way. This year you bring with you reminders of things left undone. And there's that whole love/hate thing with the curling.

So I reflect on where I want to be and where I am. Yet the things that should be done get in the way. I have this mental list of things I should do or be doing. It interferes with reflection on why I'm not going in the direction I have planned. Fine. I should be planning girl's night in. I'm not. Why not? Instead, I surf the net and try to find information and ideas for such parties, which I then never use.

So, today I create an invitation (wine tasting or movie night? Or maybe both? Wine and a movie? And what about sundaes? How do you choose a movie for girl's night?) and get started on one of my grand plans.

While I may not celebrate your arrival, you've at least forced me to start looking at what I want to do and moving forward with that. I think I'm stuck in a BA's worst nightmare - analysis paralysis. Thank you Winter. While I hope your stay is comfortable, I do hope it isn't very long. And can you see about getting snow in time for Christmas? It always feels better that way.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Finding my passion

I wrote about my passion once before: in a bizarre little narrative that eventually got sidetracked. Not really a surprise around here.

I've decided I may not be completely happy with what I'm doing or where I am or even where I'm going in life. Unlike many of my proclamations about life, this one isn't an impulse. It isn't some thought of the moment that will disappear when presented with something shiny. Although it could be in response to the likelihood of me losing my shiny office with the re-org (wah!)

I'm. Not. Happy. Shocking. I think it's a phenomenon that many people experience. We wander through life making general decisions with limited knowledge - who really knows what they want to be when they grow up when they're 18? As for myself, I had no idea what options were really out there. I didn't fully investigate things like Spy or Assassin because I didn't really take those options seriously. I certainly didn't realize the breadth of options available to engineers (Hello Mythbusters!) or the fun careers possible within science - ew, dissecting things!

So, I try to find a passion I currently have and figure out how to turn that into something I can make money off of. Baking is up there. I'm actually considering something like opening my own bakery. You know, in the future after some training. Although when I think about that, I think about my little dream to own a B&B. Although, that dream tends to get bigger and more inn shaped the more I think of it. 10 rooms, a nice dining room serving gourmet food. At which point, I doubt I'll be making use of my baking talents... And then there's the financial side of that... In this economy, I doubt that I'd be able to get any kind of business loan for that kind of idea.

But it's fun to dream.