Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Figured I should post somethign

You are Palm OS. Punctual, straightforward and very useful.  Your mother wants you to do more with your life like your cousin Wince, but you're happy with who you are.
Which OS are You?

At least I wasn't WinME

Friday, August 26, 2005

Soothing my conscience

Mmmmm peas. You know those sugar peas that you just eat whole. Nummy. That's my mid morning snack. That and some good classical music and I'm set for a Friday.

It helps that I've taken steps to easy my conscience on the guy thing. Right now... I think everyone is aware of the situation. The funny thing is, most guys responded with a "yep, that's cool. You're just getting out of something, you're young. Have fun."

Well, the welder messed with my head a bit and called me a player - like he'd been reading my blog or something. Everyone else was cool with it. Hmm, I guess i haven't really told K, but I haven't talked to him to tell him either. Urg. He reads my blog so maybe he already knows. That would suck.

When does curling season start so I can just do that instead of this dating thing?????

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

What? Who? Me? A player? Nahhhhhhh

Well, ok, here we go. I've dug myself a hole somehow and now I'm trying to figure my way out of it. Here's my tale of six men.

Let's start with my ex. Or soon to be ex, depending on what he decides he wants in life. A couple months ago, I decided I made a mistake and I tried reconciling with him. Or, I told him I wanted to reconcile. He wasn't so sure it was a good idea. I had a huge emotional rollercoaster thing after that - trust me, I was a mess to end all messes for awhile.

I decided I wasn't going to date anymore. Well, I tried to decide that. With one I just kinda put things on hold until I figured out what I wanted out of life. I told him about the situation with my ex and surprisingly, he was still interested. However, he's always been very clear with me that he's not getting too involved because he doesn't want to affect my growth and whatnot during this time in my life. In other words - he's trying to avoid being rebound guy.

Other than that, I just had my ex and the newfie. The newfie? Yep, a newfie. He works out of town so we rarely see each other. Thus, I don't really consider this dating, and I don't want to get serious about someone who doesn't come home most nights. However, I'm pretty sure he's interested in more than friends. He kinda knows the deal with my ex, but not really. Oh yeah, and there's his plan to go to the bahamas for a few years. See the problems?

So, hey, I wasn't doing so bad. Not dating. Just hanging out, waiting. And trying to manage my emotions at the same time. Well.... there's this thing called online dating. And I have a profile up on one of those sites. I participate in the forums and have gotten to know some cool people (see previous post on my weekend!) Well, at the same time, I still get the odd email from guys interested. My ex decided he didn't want me just sitting around doing nothing. And since he continued to date, he said he wouldn't be upset if I did as well. Obviously, neither of us should end up in bed with someone else at this point.

Well, there are two guys in Calgary and one in Edmonton who contacted me and seemed nice enough. I had no intention of meeting them during this time. Really I didn't. Why can't life EVER be like I plan it?

The one I hadn't intended to meet quite yet is the guy in Calgary. Well... he's told me he's not looking overly hard anymore. I'm sure he's expecting the same from me which means I have some explainin to do. And I SWEAR I hadn't planned to meet him yet.

NOW... this leaves two guys out of the six. These two, I've avoided meeting - so far. Luckily one is a welder out of town. So he's been - out of town! But now, he's planning to be home this weekend and wants to go out. Yep, I know. Give him a reason...any reason... not to. But, well, I'm curious. So, I'm fitting him in to an already busy weekend.

The last one...he was one I wasn't sure I wanted to meet. The initial impression was less than stellar, but I'm never one to be mean so I kept talking to him. As I get to know him, I see he's not quite what I assumed off the start. So now, yes, I want to meet him too. Luckily he's in Calgary....

Six men. Me. ME! How did this happen? How on earth did I go from just hanging out, not dating, to having six guys interested? Granted, six could become 4 by just meeting two of the guys. And should my ex decide he wants to reconcile, then it drops to one immediately. Other than that.... yikes!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Banks and Credit Cards

Well, as you all know, I'm in the middle of detaching myself from the guy I married. We don't need to get into that. One of the things required is to detangle our finances. I've been trying to do this. Really I have. The lastest is trying to remove him from my credit card.

So I call the issuing bank and request that his card be cancelled and he be removed from the account. Well, they can cancel the card. But when it comes to removing his name and releasing him from the liability... nope. Not gonna happen until the balance is $0.00. Huh? But I'm the primary cardholder. This is MY card. I'm the one responsible for the debt. Nope, no can do, it's against their policy.

Now, wait a second here. My ex was able to remove ME from his card with one quick phone call. I'm released from responsibility, I can't use my card anymore, everyone is happy happy happy. So I explain this to the girl on the phone. Well, it's a different card company and she can't speak to their policies.

Ok, so I'm not happy at this point. And I think she's figuring this out. So she says she'll talk to another dept about it. I wait. And wait. This has given me time to think which is likely NOT in the CC company's best interest.

She returns to the phone and tells me that it's their policy. If there was another way it could be handled.... at which point I interrupt and tell her there is another way it can be handled. I'll get another card, transfer the balance and cancel their card. I'm not sure I'm proud of this, but, I then told her they'd lost a customer - yeah, like they care about my $2000 balance - and I hang up.

Their competition immediately gets a phone call and I've got a low-interest rate card on the way. Problem will be solved within 10 days. The best part - all of my banking can be done at one institution now. Mortgage, bank accounts, credit card.

The BEST part, my ex - who makes regular trips to the US for work - is also cancelling his card with the same bank if that is, indeed, the policy. What kind of ridiculous policy is it to allow one spouse to run up huge amounts of credit card debt and affect another's credit rating???? If I were my ex, I'd be calling the credit card company and complaining.

Let's think about this...if I'm an angry spouse and the primary cardholder and I want to get back at my ex for something, this company is facilitating that with their policies. I can hold a balance on that card forever and it will never come off his credit rating. I can run that card up and it will forever appear on his credit rating. I could financially ruin him with one little credit card. If you think about it, all that really should be required is a fax from him containing the documents from the lawyers. Signed, dated, indicating that he is NOT responsible for that debt. Yet they will do nothing.


Monday, August 22, 2005

Wow, what a weekend!

Impulsiveness could get me into trouble, but... well... it also gets me a heck of a weekend once in awhile. This weekend is a perfect example.

Friday night there was a little get together at a bar here in Edmonton so I went. Had a great time and met some cool people. When I got home I went upstairs to bed. I glanced in my walk in closet and thought...hmmmm something's missing. So I look again (keep in mind, it's about 1am) and wonder where my clothes went to. So I go closer to investigate and see that the shelf decided it'd hung on the wall for far too long and it was laying on the floor. It appears that it has done this before by the various holes in the wall that have been patched. In fact, it may have happened twice before which means hanging it up again is going to be pointless as it doesn't have adequate supports. I turn off the light and go to bed.

Saturday morning I had to volunteer for Homeless Animals day so off I went to do that. Got a little too much sun doing that. Ok, waaaayyyyyy too much sun. But it was a good day all around. It was hosted at Terwilligar off leash park.

When that was done at 3:00, I headed to Calgary. Well, I had to make a quick trip home to pick up Ryna's CD first. A CD I was supposed to get to him back in January. Ooops. So, around 4pm I was heading out of the city for Calgary. Sushi with Ryna and then off to the Kings Head pub for another little party. And it was soooooo worth the trip.

Just before I got to Airdrie, my cell rang. I figured it was Ryna checking to see where I was. But nope, it was my evil twin. Her first question was "Where are you????"

"Uhhhh, driving"


"Where are you?" I ask, sure at this point that I just passed her

"No, where are you?" Yep, we have intelligent conversations...

"The highway," Yep, I'm overly informative. At this point I figured she knew darned well where I was since I likely passed her on the highway.

"Where on the highway?"

Ok, fine, now I have to spill that I drove right past where she lives "I'm almost to Calgary...why? Did I just pass you or something?"

"I'm in Edmonton!" Etc, etc, etc. I hang up agreeing to give her a call when I leave and we'll meet for lunch or something on Sunday on my way back.

Sushi was great as usual. Sushi Boat in the NW is a great little place to go. Then off to the Kings Head. I'll get this out of the way now... it was a get together arranged for a singles website I'm a member off. I didn't go looking to meet anyone. There were a group of folks from Friday night who were heading off and I enjoyed myself Friday so figured why not partake in the fun on Saturday night in Calgary.

There was someone from the site in Calgary I'd been talking to, but I didn't tell him I was going to the party because I wasn't sure I was ready to meet him yet, or that I wanted to meet him at something like that. So I kinda left it alone. And I saw he wasn't signed up to the party so I figured it was all good. I could meet him another time, somewhere quieter, fewer people around watching.

One should never assume.

I got there and tracked down someone from the Edmonton group right away (woo hoo) to find out where I needed to be for the party. I found out, got my hand stamped appropriately and met the hosts. As I was doing that, I was distracted by a familiar face in the area reserved for our group. I stood there a moment trying to figure out where I knew him from... He wasn't from Edmonton, at least I didn't think he was...

By the time I was done with the hosts, I knew where I knew him from. We'd been chatting for awhile online from the site. Hey, I'm a geek. I found a geeky way to meet people. Got a problem with that????? So I made my way over to him, smiled and said "hey, I know you."

The rest of the night I spent getting to know him. And it was great. Too many Edmontonians were hanging around though and I got hassled for it. So I got up and danced some and socialized for a bit, but it was uncomfortable in a packed bar with people bumping into my sunburn repeatedly, so off I went back to my quiet corner.

The guy and I agreed to meet for lunch the next day at the end of the night. I shut down the bar for crying out loud. I've never done that! Sunday, we had lunch, caught "The Wedding Crashers" and get to know each other a little better.

At about 3:30, I headed north out of Calgary and gave my evil twin a call. We ended up meeting at Moxie's in Red Deer for supper. Even though I wasn't overly hungry at that point. Ah well. It was still good food.

I didn't get home until after 7pm. I went and looked at my closet again. I figure I'll go to Home depot and get an organizer with better supports. I never did get a chance to measure the closet, but I'll likely remove the remaining shelf and have the long shelf run all the way across the back. Heh heh, me with power tools.

Just call me Heidi.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Giving Blood

Today I go to give blood for the first time, ever, in my short little life. What can I say...I'm a giver. ;-)

But, eeek! I'm not a squeemish...squeamish person. I'm a farm kid. I've bled with the best of 'em to be honest. Ok, maybe never really requiring stitches any time I can remember, but that's different. Today I'm going to be voluntarily poked. "Hey, pick me! pick me! I have too much blood anyway." What am I going to do with it, really? I can make more...

But...but...I have to sit there with a needle in my arm and... ewwwww. But I said I'd do it and I will. So there!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Chair dancing...

I'm afraid I've been "chair dancing" at my desk here today. I guess that's a good sign, with all that's happening. At the same time... whoa, what a geek!

What music could possibly make me do this, you ask? No, I'm not two-stepping to George. I'm not grooving to the 80's or the 60's or the 90's. It's not punk, it's not rap (whew!), it's not classic rock or classical. It's Waldemar Bastos, a Brazilian singer who sings very little in English is what is in my CD player at this moment.

Hmm, I think my next post should be dr. seussian in nature...

Take a breather

Coincidentally enough, a couple months ago, I signed up for this lunch and learn called "Take a Breather." It's all about managing stress and whatnot. I just spent an hour in a darkened room breathing with my eyes closed.

No. I was not sleeping! Ok, almost, but I don't think anyone heard the snoring.

What we did was simple meditation, but it reminded me of the Yoga Nidra class I was lucky enough to participate in on a yoga retreat. Unfortunately after a few days of hiking in the clear mountain air, most of us skipped the "fully awake" part and snored away peacefully.

And now, I'm not quite as obsessive as I have been the last few days. I'm feeling downright peaceful and content. Not that I'm any further ahead than I was before lunch. But I had an hour where I got to just forget about it and concentrate on me.

The downside to this little event? I'm relaxed. I look at the queue, there's work to be done obviously, but I'm just sitting here with a goofy smile on my face wondering if this is how my cats feel day after day.

Work...*deep breath* ah work. It's gotta be done. Just like the dishes, laundry and cleaning the toilets. Sure, I can hire someone to clean my house... but I think my company would frown on me hiring someone to do my work. oh! Wait, I'll just call it sub-contracting and we're all good.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Sorry for the lack of posting

I'm going through some stuff right now. I don't care to post about it, but I'm a little more emotional than normal. I've also lacked the humour my posts used to have when I first started this. I'm not sure how long the break will take, I'm not sure what the outcome will be but for awhile I won't be posting regularly. Just more of this intermittent stuff when something happens.

Like tonight. Started sewing myself a skirt. It's going to look fabulous. Just have the zipper, facing and hem to do and it'll all be done and ready to wear. I'm such a domestic goddess... anyone want pie?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Moving back to Calgary

Well, I've been reminded of the weather in Calgary by a couple people now. Snow in July, shovelling hail, those kinds of fun things. And I'm still determined to return there next spring. You might ask yourself why I'd do such a crazy thing, and, to be honest, I have no idea. Other than being there makes me feel like I'm home.

It does mean, however, that I give up a job at a company I like. Then again, by next March that opinion may be changed. I give up an affordable condo with a cool ensuite (yeah, yeah, I bought the place for the tub. I'm a girl. Sue me). I move away from some good friends and move further away from my family.

But I might get some of my sanity back, and I'll be in the same city as one of my best friends again. The real work all starts in Feb/March... Looking for a house, looking for work, selling my condo. A delicate timing balance at best. Ah well, onward and upward and back to my favorite city.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Mother Nature is NOT your friend

Ever notice how every long weekend it rains? When I was in Calgary everyone I knew went camping May long weekend. And everyone I knew said, "of course it's going to snow. It's May long weekend. It ALWAYS snows!" And stampede... It's either going to be record breaking hot, or pouring down rain. I don't recall ever being at stampede when it's a nice, moderate 23 degrees. I have watched the rodeo and chuckwagons in pouring down rain however.

Take my vacation this year. Sunny and gorgeous for my drive out to the Rocks... then the next morning - rain. Mother Nature relented and gave me one good day of sun for my hike, for which I'll be eternally grateful, but then... more rain.

So, what brought on this rant against the woman who controls our weather? Well...I got up this morning and saw clear skies. A few clouds from the rain overnight, but it appeared to be breaking up and going away. So instead of searching for a jacket to wear, I ran out of the house to catch the bus wearing just my work clothes.

What a mistake. By the time I got downtown, it was starting to show signs of rain. I stop at Sunterra Market for a chocolate milk and a scone and step outside - the rain has started. Wind and rain. It now appears to have settled in for the long haul and I'm afraid my lunch is going to be spent searching for something waterproof for my trip home.

Shoulda known better - straight hair AND no jacket. Who could resist that combination?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Because I can...

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Gender based rants...

Take a look at Ryan's rant. The guy has a point. Perhaps we shouldn't be ranting soley based on gender because, let's face it, there are jerks and flakes in all genders. The very things I complained about in my rants could easily go for women as well. Ryan's rant... easily relates right back to men at the same time.

Attraction. It's supposedly based on a bunch of chemical reactions. But I've found that as I get to know someone, they're appearance changes. Maybe they aren't so good looking after I find out they refuse to eat sushi. Maybe they get better looking when I find out they have a cat and spend every Christmas with their sick grandma at the old age home.

Life is a series of events that happen to make us who we are. The best we can hope for is to find someone else on this planet who can look at us and find meaning and beauty in what we do. Yet our society has become so brainwashed to believe certain ideals.

Let's take another look at pink. As I ate lunch today, I watched a group of kids being led down the street. I can only assume by the size of the group and the 3 women looking after them, it was a daycare outing of some kind. What struck me was the large amount of pink in the group. Someone somewhere decided that little girls should be denoted by the color pink and until they get to an age where they can buy their own clothes, mommy and daddy faithfully go dress their little sweethearts in pinks, yellows and purple. Pink jackets, pink skirts, pink t-shirts, pink dresses. Pink scrunchies in their hair. Little pink Barbie backpacks (don't get me started on Barbie). Pink running shoes. At what point do parents look at the wardrobe they've created for the little princesses and think it's lovely?

These are the same little girls who grow up believing that they must be like Jennifer, Courtney, Jessica and Britney. The sad thing is they even have names like Britney and Ashlyn, or my favorite, Brooklyn. Like the burough in New York. Cause that's something to name your child after. Maybe they were just going for the bridge. Kids grow up with Barbie and Ken. You watch Scooby Doo and Shaggy never gets a date. Heck, it wasn't even until the second movie that Velma got a love interest and he wasn't exactly Brad Pitt. Although, he is kinda cute...

There's an understanding in this world that your happiness is based on how others around you perceive you. A "friend" once told me he didn't ask an overweight girl out because although she was a wonderful girl and he liked talking to her, "fat chicks are like to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one."

One must have potential partners rubber stamped by their friends. Does he/she make enough? Drive the right car? Why is he/she still single? Do they look just right? It seems that who we date becomes a reflection of ourselves and we don't want to be considered less because we dated a nice girl or guy who treated us great... but just didn't measure up in those wonderfully superficial ways.

Am I innocent of this? Heck no. I've dated guys who were great. Made me laugh, enjoyed spending time with them, but... when it came down to it the reactions of my friends made me reconsider getting too deeply involved. So, they became my friends. Much like I've been relegated to friendship by more guys than I can count because I'm sure I'm great to hang out with, but I won't pass the attractiveness test. So off we go, searching for what we may already have, we just want prettier packaging. Forgetting that as we grow old, youthful beauty fades and your left with whatever beauty that person had on the inside.

You want young, dumb and blond... in 20 years, you've just got dumb. Or a hell of a lawyer bill from the divorce and the cost of trying to find young, dumb and blonde looking for a sugar daddy.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Ah, forgot one.

Kinda takes the steam out of the rant to realize you've forgotten an item, but I'll just throw it here as an addendum....

I'm tired of drunks in bars. Do not approach me at last call and try to offer to buy me a drink in a last ditch attempt to get someone to go home with you. Yes, I know you spent the night trying to get chicks 10 years younger than you to go home with you. And I know that you've decided to lower your "standards" in order to just have someone go home with you. It ain't gonna be me. However, you may want to consider the value of standards which have you out searching bars for someone significantly younger than you to take home with you. Unless you, like, want to, like, hear about how Buffy and her like, BF are so having trouble.

like I needed more complications

or, in a word... MEN!

Ugh, how to blog about this when so many of you read my blog???? Well, this is about to become a general rant about the men who've been in my life and some who still are. If you see yourself in this... ummm... too bad. Deal with it. You've made me cranky.

I'm tired of guys who don't know what they want. Or claim not to because it's easier than actually telling the truth. I'm not perfect, y'all aren't going to fall in love with me, I think I can deal with it. Hell, I've had to turn down a guy or two in my past. It happens.

I'm tired of guys who figure just because I'm there and they're there, I'll fall into bed with them. Ummm, no. I have standards and I'm not there to fill your bed on nights when you're lonely. And yes, this includes guys I've been on dates with or been out drinking with. Deal with it.

I'm tired of friends who make me or others uncomfortable by the way they talk to me and/or treat me. Don't make me the subject of rumors because it's entertaining. Don't make me feel uncomfortable with the attention paid to me. It's just me - one of the guys.

I'm tired of the double standard. It's fine for guys to do one thing, but not a woman. Get over it. If you guys can do it, we women can.

I'm tired of geekiness being considered a bad thing. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is. I don't want to ever hear "he's nice enough, but he's a nerd," again. Ever. What you're telling me is you like the guy/girl enough, but are afraid of what other's will think. Be you. Be with who you want to be with. And realize that the geeks can do what no one else can do - fix your damned computer!

I'm tired of actions contradicting words. Just do what you say you're going to so the rest of us don't have to guess.

I'm tired of gossip - being the subject of or having to hear it again. I'm going to go on the record right now saying... I. Don't. Care. Although, let me clarify. Tell me the good news about you and your family. Heck, tell me the bad. But I don't want to hear the latest rumor about Jane and John in the shower at the gym. *note: the previous statement is fictional and any resemblance to real people and situations is purely coincidental!

I'm tired of having no one to watch a good thunderstorm with.

I tired of hearing I might reconcile with my ex being used as a reason not to date me. The simple fact is that 2 years after the divorce is final I could still decide to try to reconcile. Well, at that point it would be remarry, but you get the picture. I'm not looking at you suggesting you might reconcile with your ex who you're still friends with. So... STFU.

I'm tired of drinking being considered a sign of status. At what point does one draw the line between cool and totally classless? The sad thing is - the passed out chick in the bathroom of the Iron Horse will likely do it again. And again. And again. Being able to hold one's liquor does not make one a better person. Or a worse person. Knowing your limits is a good start. Knowing when it's an addiction is even better.

And finally, I'm tired of apples. Yep, apples. You get enough apples for an army and see how you feel. Damned apple jelly....

How d'ya like dem apples? (the preceding is a quote from my drunk-assed BC friend)

Friday, August 05, 2005

A day to just relax


Yesterday that was my plan. I re-organized my living room so I now have a coffee table instead of using it to hold up my TV. It looks pretty great. With that accomplished and my living room as cat hair free as my critters will allow... I headed out to get a couple tires fixed. I've gotta stop going home to Saskatchewan.

One tire was fixable - just a nail. The other tire... I suspect the piece of siding the wind blew under my tires was the cause of the inch wide, 8-10 inch long piece of tire that is still somewhere on Highway 14. THAT tire had to be replaced. Because I can really afford that right now. Ah well, such is life, right?

Then I headed from the dealership to Fabricland. I just wanted fabric for a shirt. But I walked in and saw a perfect fabric for a skirt. Off I went to find a pattern to work with the skirt. Then I had to find fabric (woo hoo, clearance fabric $1.99/m) to make a matching shirt. Surprisingly, I came out of there only spending a total of $33. Now I have to find all of my missing sewing machine parts that are still MIA from the move!

I just made it back to my place before 2:30. I managed to choke down a couple pieces of toast before K arrived to go get coffee and head to Folk Fest. And there was the true beauty of yesterday - Folk Fest. Great music, and just a wonderful atmosphere. Loreena McKennitt was stunning. What a talented woman!

Aside from the unexpected expense of a tire, I had a great day overall. Just too bad I couldn't have slept in this fine morning.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Stuff from the weekend

How do you say no to this face? And yes, he smiles like that all the time.

Well, here's what I got done on the weekend with my stitching. I was quite productive if I do say so myself. Lots left to do on it though...