Wednesday, August 24, 2005

What? Who? Me? A player? Nahhhhhhh

Well, ok, here we go. I've dug myself a hole somehow and now I'm trying to figure my way out of it. Here's my tale of six men.

Let's start with my ex. Or soon to be ex, depending on what he decides he wants in life. A couple months ago, I decided I made a mistake and I tried reconciling with him. Or, I told him I wanted to reconcile. He wasn't so sure it was a good idea. I had a huge emotional rollercoaster thing after that - trust me, I was a mess to end all messes for awhile.

I decided I wasn't going to date anymore. Well, I tried to decide that. With one I just kinda put things on hold until I figured out what I wanted out of life. I told him about the situation with my ex and surprisingly, he was still interested. However, he's always been very clear with me that he's not getting too involved because he doesn't want to affect my growth and whatnot during this time in my life. In other words - he's trying to avoid being rebound guy.

Other than that, I just had my ex and the newfie. The newfie? Yep, a newfie. He works out of town so we rarely see each other. Thus, I don't really consider this dating, and I don't want to get serious about someone who doesn't come home most nights. However, I'm pretty sure he's interested in more than friends. He kinda knows the deal with my ex, but not really. Oh yeah, and there's his plan to go to the bahamas for a few years. See the problems?

So, hey, I wasn't doing so bad. Not dating. Just hanging out, waiting. And trying to manage my emotions at the same time. Well.... there's this thing called online dating. And I have a profile up on one of those sites. I participate in the forums and have gotten to know some cool people (see previous post on my weekend!) Well, at the same time, I still get the odd email from guys interested. My ex decided he didn't want me just sitting around doing nothing. And since he continued to date, he said he wouldn't be upset if I did as well. Obviously, neither of us should end up in bed with someone else at this point.

Well, there are two guys in Calgary and one in Edmonton who contacted me and seemed nice enough. I had no intention of meeting them during this time. Really I didn't. Why can't life EVER be like I plan it?

The one I hadn't intended to meet quite yet is the guy in Calgary. Well... he's told me he's not looking overly hard anymore. I'm sure he's expecting the same from me which means I have some explainin to do. And I SWEAR I hadn't planned to meet him yet.

NOW... this leaves two guys out of the six. These two, I've avoided meeting - so far. Luckily one is a welder out of town. So he's been - out of town! But now, he's planning to be home this weekend and wants to go out. Yep, I know. Give him a reason...any reason... not to. But, well, I'm curious. So, I'm fitting him in to an already busy weekend.

The last one...he was one I wasn't sure I wanted to meet. The initial impression was less than stellar, but I'm never one to be mean so I kept talking to him. As I get to know him, I see he's not quite what I assumed off the start. So now, yes, I want to meet him too. Luckily he's in Calgary....

Six men. Me. ME! How did this happen? How on earth did I go from just hanging out, not dating, to having six guys interested? Granted, six could become 4 by just meeting two of the guys. And should my ex decide he wants to reconcile, then it drops to one immediately. Other than that.... yikes!


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