Cube with a blocked view.

Tired.

Tonight with G, I lost it. I lost my will to fight. I'm not sure I see what's worth all of this hurt and bullshit.

It certainly isn't worth the pain. The tears. The effort put forth so he can crow about being right. And telling me there's no way I didn't knw what I was doing. Easy to say.

Harder to actually listen when I try to explain. He continually interrupted me. He didn't want to hear it.

So I'm done. The fight is gone out of me. He broke my optimism, my hope. I tried to reason with him and it went nowhere. Too much anger. No compassion. No understanding. Just anger.

And his admitting that he'd do this to me even knowing how much he's hurting me.

I just wanted it to stop. To go away. Go back to being me and G, happy and in love. But I'm not sure that's possible. This has been extremely distructive to the relationship. Trust, love, everything. So tenuous at this point as it is. Now it's diminished even further.

And all for what? Some "principle."

He thinks I was lying. Again.

Trust.

posted by Erin @ 12:41 AM