Thursday, March 31, 2005


Fantasies. We all hove them in some form or another. And no, not all fantasies are sexual. For exampl, I regularly fantasize about a white sand beach, soft breeze blowing, waves lapping at the shore. And me, laying in the sun with some kind of fruity rum-based drink in one hand. Funny, this fantasy always has me alone on that beach.

I do tend to daydream a lot. Especially while taking the bus every day. I've learned I get motion sickness if I try to read. You'd think they could drive a little more smoothly, especially the local park bus I take at night. Every stop I'm trying to catch something before it falls from the seat.

I daydream about selling my house and finding a new one. That's a big step in this whole process for me. I can see myself sitting on the floor, since my ex gets most of the furniture, surrounded by boxes. One might think this would make me feel sad, lonely, scared. That's kinda what I expected. Instead I feel happy, hopeful even. Not that this means much overall, it is just a mental vactation I sometimes take. But it does show a willingness to move on.

Sometimes these fantasies are so real, almost tangible. I can close my eyes and feel the sand between my toes and hear the waves. I guess this just shows the true level of my overactive imagination.

Visualization was a technique I learned at curling camp. I know, I know... Curling Geek. Basically you imagine yourself with a perfect slide, or making the shot, whatever, and it's supposed to help your performance. More than just "positive thinking," so, no, you don't just sit there and think "I can do it". You actually get a mental picture of whatever it is. I've tried it before and apparently need practice. There's also a whole other part to visualization that helps you focus. That I tend to use my yoga practice for.

It can be a helpful tool for preparation though. For example, should I ever find myself holding a rum beverage on a white sand beach, I will already know what to do. Enjoy the moment!

When it comes time for me to move, I will have pictured it so many times, that the feelings associated with that experience should be what I've imagined. Or so I hope. It's a mental preparation technique, that will enable me to at least limit my insecurities when the time comes.

I would try this for my dates, but to be honest there's no way to predict the actions of another person, so why set myself up for disappointment? Happens often enough as it is.

Now, if you don't mind, I was interruped in the middle of a particularly good fantasy this afternoon. And no, it isn't one I can share!


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