Wednesday, March 30, 2005

one last note on songs that mean something

Chris Cagle - "The Safe Side":

Have you ever wondered what life would be like
If you'd only went left instead of taking that right
If you had waited just ten more minutes to leave the house
Would it all be different
Every decision everything we choose has a consequence whether we win or lose
Nobody knows that any better than me

I left her standing at the station with a ticket and a dream
She's the train that I didn't take
The big commitment I just couldn't make
For fear of breaking my heart, I didn't risk the ride
She's the lesson I learned the hard way
Now being lonely is the price I pay
The river of regret runs deep and wide
Here on the safe side

I've spent my life living on the safe side. Doing what was expected, not making waves. The most freeing thing I've ever done is walking away from that and seeking my own happiness, no matter what the consequences. Life isn't lived when you're living in fear.

It's also not lived waiting for something to happen. I've spent too many years waiting for what I want. Wasted too much time hoping thing would just work out for me. The biggest risk I took was ending a marriage that didn't make me happy. That's probably the biggest risk I'll ever take. I hope it is. Like in curling, it all comes down to risk/reward. Is what I'm risking worth the potential reward for going for it. My happiness is worth every risk I've taken.

How many times have I been looking at a house filled with opposition stones, forced to decide whether to try a hit to reduce the number of points scored against me, or play the draw and try to get my one. How many times have I made that draw to the button... Ok, well, I don't have the exact number, but it's gotta be most of the time or I wouldn't continue to play the damned shot! I'm never one to walk away from a risk on the ice. Why do I do it in real life?

Take a look at Vegas. An oasis built on sand. Pristine white fairy tale castles, a replica Eiffel Tower, a hotel in the shape of a pyramid, roller coasters built high above the ground and a replica of the statue of liberty. These are but a few of the man-made paradise in the middle of the desert. Started by mobsters, taken over by corporations. Someone first took that risk with the first casino in a place with nothing else to draw visitors. Today the strip stands as a monument to man's obsession with all that glitters. People risking it all. Wedding chapels on every corner just in case you should feel that matrimonial urge, or crave marriage by Elvis. Vegas is all about taking risks. Maybe that's why I fell in love with it during my short stay. It represented the risk I knew I needed to take...even then.

I've played on the safe side for far too long. It's time I started taking risks, big or small. A friend told me that not trying is still failure. I disagreed that night, but today...failing to try, failing to take that chance, might be the biggest failure of all. I don't want to be looking back 5 or 10 years from now wondering "what if."

Life was meant to be lived. Go... live it. No regrets.


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