Cube with a blocked view.

He asked me to stay. Wanted me there. Missed me while he was gone. He’s tried to get affordable flights to Ottawa to spend my birthday with me, but… well… not a good time for cheap flights. So, he’ll critter sit for me and I’ll take pictures. And miss him. But that’s life. Besides, I get to spend Christmas with him and his family. My family is coming up on Boxing Day. D, S & C get to meet J. I even have hockey tickets so Grandma and Grandpa will get to babysit.

It’s insane how much I’ve changed. J and I talked about whether or not I regretted the two of us meeting over a year ago, sharing a couple words and walking away. I don’t. I wasn’t ready then. Had no clue. I was still running anytime anything looked remotely workable. I needed the patience of the wrong man to help me settle down.

Now, I’ve gone from “nuh uh, never gonna get married again. That’s for fools.” To thinking about wedding dresses, wondering if there are tungsten carbide engagement rings. Considering destinations for the “I do’s” because neither of us wants a big wedding. Something small and somewhere else will do. My dreams have changed. My hopes.

It just feels right. Yeah yeah. Hey, be thankful the word “connection” is banned from my vocabulary when it comes to men.

The flowers were a hit. As were the two ice cube man ornaments I gave him out of my auction purchases. This is something I’ve never had before. Never felt before. No conflict. No begging for time. Don’t even have to listen to stories about his dog. And his dog gets the back seat. Heh, in the Santa Fe, he’ll get the back. Not the back seat. Tiggs likes him, even if he hates the dog that comes with him. My family thinks he’s great. He was my strength when I was ready to melt down.

The best part is I don’t have to beg for time. I am a priority. I get weekends. I get weeknights - even more often now that neither of us can go on the ice. I’m not constantly compared to false ideals. I don’t have to fight for respect. I don’t have to accept hunting season, fishing season, curling season and golf season. Well, ok, fishing, curling and golf – but he wants to do those things with me.

We can communicate without fighting (so far – which is still pretty good). I’m not a secret.

posted by Erin @ 10:54 AM