Monday, June 27, 2005

What an icky day

I've been fighting this darned cold since Friday. I thought I might've hit it with enough echinechea friday night/saturday morning/saturday afternoon, but no such luck. Ohhh the temptation to stay in bed this morning. But I figure with the long weekend coming up, there are likely a lot of people out on vacation and the queue should be slow, but there's no guarantees. And I knew Vishnu was out and I'm backup on the queue this month. So here I am, coffee and Advil cold and sinus in hand. Blech.

Orange juice, tea, and cold medicine. Aren't I just a bundle of laughs today? weekend. The anticipation was perhaps way too much. Things went well, I had no urge to run, screaming. So now my question is - how can online interest and chemistry go so wrong in real life? Up until that night, I was feeling a little guilty about agreeing to meet someone else two weeks before. The interesting thing about that is, he and I had barely talked online. Couple MSN messages back and forth, then a request for coffee after work one afternoon. While I stared at the screen with a mixture of anticipation and "eeep, what about...???" thoughts, I figured what the heck? I've hardly talked to this guy. He fell off the face of the planet about 3 months ago and now he's back and wants to meet. Might as well go say hi, have a couple laughs and walk away - just like with everyone else.

Coffee led to dinner a few nights later and I had a problem. While I'd tried to avoid getting too emotionally invested in something online with someone a long way away, I'd failed. Rationally, I knew that it had a high chance of failing. There was a lot at work against us, but I really did enjoy chatting with him online. Smart, funny, attractive....what wasn't to like? I also knew there was a likelihood that when we met, he'd have no interest in me. Ok, I'm smart, funny and cute, but I'm also terribly shy and often lose any coherent thought in some situations. Saturday was one of those situations. So, didn't make my greatest impression. Well, that and bad driving. Typical.

Am I disappointed, yeah. Yet it's the loss of something I never really had, and I had reservations about. So, the disappointment isn't too great. If that makes sense. So, Christmas morning came, and it wasn't just a bland sweater from Grandma, but Santa didn't exactly do his best work either ;) I liked him enough that if distance weren't an issue, I might've tried to persuade him to give it another try. But, 5 hours.

Sigh.... evil twin, you were right :) But, I just hope you can understand WHY I had to do it. No regrets.


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